Gradually

Life in my unit has it's perks and it's dooms. We'll get to all of that someday, but something I noticed in myself is the change of learning to be shameless. We all can't eat humble pie in life, be the quiet obedient wallflower, it doesn't change the fact that you'll probably end up nowhere.

Reminiscing the past when I was nine, I was rebellious, I did whatever I felt like. It sends me chills if I met age nine as age twenty; I'll probably learn more from him than he would from me. Where did "I" disappear to as I grew up.

I feel like a wuss growing up, always choosing the path of least resistance, it unsettled me greatly whenever I have to make choices, I became indecisive. I let myself pushed over, being the 'noble' one to suffer in silence when secretly, I wished that someone would take a good look at me. Sometimes it would work, sometimes it didn't. Even I couldn't wager a proper guess to what I may be thinking sometimes.

To be unafraid of this wild and foreign world, one has to be bold, be shameless, grab the opportunity - if you have it, flaunt it. But still, that little voice in me constantly reminds me to be righteous in whatever you do to attain any goals, be considerate. You would still want to keep your friends, stand by with those principles and morals that one has been instilled since birth.

I ask myself a lot of questions, I hope I can find those answers gradually.