Hatred

To learn to love, you must first learn to hate. Or is it the other way around? But why would people want to learn to hate anyway? For some, people hate because of the irreparable damage that has been brought towards them by others, and yet for some - I don't know, probably a cowardly attempt to use, whine and ditch. Have you been hated by others? And what's worst is that they don't reveal the reason for it, and this horrible chain of hatred just continues.

Sure, 6 billion people in the world, it's just one more. But it's only worst that if this one influences the rest to join the hate fest which jeopardizes your chances of a decent first impression. It laments that it has enemies as much as many friends - but why? Something wrong with you? You have to hate anything that doesn't work out? If your friendship can degrade, instead of holding on hope to it you simply toss it all away because it's troublesome. I find this kind of mentality sub-par and annoying, clashes and conflict are bound to happen at some point in your life, are friends your toys? So you get bored, use them (if they provided any use to your advantage) and once it gets sticky, you move on?

Bullshit.

I can't stand it even more that these people act like god damn angelic hypocrites and advocate against the same kind of behaviour they really act like. And sadly, their friends who have yet to fall into such a despicable trap take to their side without another second's thought.

Hatred is a powerful emotion, either you control it or it controls you. I have been brought to it's command ever since it happened, I try to move on but great dissatisfaction remains. There is to a point, an even darker sense of reality collapses, which is evolving into murder intentions. I don't want to go there, but as long it remains alive each day and blissfully enjoying undeserving happiness, I still bear a great grudge against it.

I hate this person, but why? This person hates me too, and why? Going back straight to the source, nothingness swells around me, the only things that can probably calm my mind is to forgive, or make sure it's dead.

People exists to kill others only because of a reason, hatred, grudges, envy, jealousy, vengeance. The list is exhaustive - I only know right now, I have to make a choice.

Angst

Getting consumed by hate is a very scary experience, eventually you just lost yourself forever - in fact I doubt you'll even recognized yourself in that agonized state. I have been perpetually stuck in a hate fest for a certain someone since June and the hate didn't blossomed just overnight. Somehow, immense dissatisfaction was planted as a seed and fuelled by intense dark thoughts, it now is maturing as a hate flora.

I was told to let it go, to forget. Easy on paper, hard on feelings at the point of the time. It has been roughly two months yet I still haven't let it go. Everyday I cursed and lament on miseries and bad luck befalling on that person. Karma will get me hard, but somehow I just felt I didn't care. There's a price to pay for everything, I clearly understood that.

But I'm also tired, I've been trying to suppress this vulgar emotion, forgiveness and letting go doesn't seem to be the way out. I have to resolve and clear this barrier, a mutual friend acts as a temporary salvation but my suggested solution probably wouldn't work out. It plans to talk it out with the offender to sort and clear up things properly once and for all, I'm a weird person but I needed loose ends to be tied up before I can move on.

Hence I really hate people who ditch you without giving a valid and logical reason, I felt used. I want to trash things out prim and proper, I know it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life if left unchecked. Worst still, this emotion might be unknowingly nurtured into the extreme ending scenario - the thought to kill.

Human beings are odd creatures as we are clearly shaped and defined by knowing to love.

And to hate.

I wish I knew what to do.

The Long Road

Lyrics in a song capture the intense feelings and thoughts of the lyricist and transforms them into a message in the form of music to let the world listen and understand. Such is that of the NDP theme songs that has since birthed from 1998 onwards. It has ever since, become a tradition that every year's celebration must come with a theme song that focuses and captures accordingly to the theme for the parade that year, alongside a subtle message for everyone to ponder over.

1) 1998 - Home

"Establishing and never forgetting your roots..."

2) 1999 - Together

"Because unity is one."

3) 2000 - Shine on me

"Always shining no matter where."

4) 2001 - Where I belong

"I know and I remember."

5) 2002 - We will get there

"It's a long way, but we will..."

6) 2003 - One united people/ A place in my heart

"Steady and stabilized."

7) 2004 - Home (remake)

8) 2005 - Reach out for the skies

"Catch your dreams and follow it..."

9) 2006 - My Island Home

"Glorify."

10) 2007 - There's no place I'd rather be/ Will you?

"There's no other you."

11) 2008 - Shine for Singapore

"I know and I remember."

12) 2009 - What do you see?

"We question the future, which needs to be secured by the present."

13) 2010 - Song for Singapore

"Be thankful."

Corrine May did a fantastic job with introducing sentimentality and remembrance for this year's theme song. It definitely matches the theme for this year.

Tease

The people at my office are a fun bunch, I just wish though; that they stop messing around with me ugh.