It's too distressing to be passed on around in a chain of distrust and stigma. I may have been reading things too much but sometimes I feel, he has already distanced himself away. I should never have told him, my trust was blindly displaced.
Then again, I always had bad instincts. I could never depend on them to save my life. But otherwise it was depressing, I've always been a close-in, this guy managed to made me re-think my decision otherwise. Ironically, the friendship blossomed from his first step, I was added to his messenger one fine day. He asked me to guess who he was, and I thought it was just another typical messenger based prankster who wanted to feed his boredom. Then after some bout between the comedy and gravity of things, his identity was then revealed. And the rest was history.
And it was probably stayed history forever the day I revealed something to myself about me. I thought I could trust him, he was the first person I told to among anybody. To me it was a privilege, to him apparently, it changed his world and became a burden. It's amazing how the binds of friendship can be almost instantaneously decimated into nothingness when people have a difference in ideals and background. 7 years of friendship, all for naught - he hasn't said it yet, but I can sense his unwillingness to talk to me day by day. He has to live by his principles and ideals taught to him by his forthright parents, I don't blame him for knowing those - I just blame him for applying to them in every real situation.
It's very heart wrenching, but I don't think I could ever talk to him again. He now remains only as a friend in name, but deeper beneath that surface; we don't know one another anymore.
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